No Matter What You Are Walking Through, You Will Get Through It

Embracing the reality that difficult situations will not set us ablaze. Sometimes it takes some time and distance from certain situations we walk through to realize He was with us and providing for us through it all.

Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

Show notes!

Transcribed from Audio Episode 2:

(00:00):

Hey, Hey, my friend, welcome back to episode two of A Holy Mess Podcast. So funny story, I actually recorded a few episodes and started it with "welcome to episode one of a holy mess podcast". And so, when we jump into this one, when we dive in, it's going to welcome you to episode one, but clearly this is NOT episode one. It's take two of episode one. ;) So anyway, still trying to figure it all out. I re-listened to it and I was going scratch the whole thing, but then I said, "you know what? It's got good content in there, and better done than perfect."

(00:33):

So just forgive the "welcome to episode one." When we dive in today. I'm going to share a little story, that spoke to my heart last week about when we're walking through a fiery time, or just a painful time in life-- how do we not let the flame set us a blaze. Just Like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego from the old Testament that were thrown into that fiery blaze.

(00:33):

(00:56):

They came out, literally not burned up because God protected them. And in our own lives, how do we not get burned by circumstances or our emotions or things that we are wrestling with. I share a few scriptures in there and then bring a couple tacticals ways about guarding our heart and what that means. How do we break that down? How do we bring it into community? And then, how do we keep going? How do we continue on in this journey, to find all the hope and all the joy and all the peace and all the purpose that God has for us. So, so glad you're here. Let's dive in. Welcome to A Holy Mess Podcast. All right, my friends, we all know life can be so difficult and painful at times, especially when we're carrying grief or loss or wrestling with shame about our past anxiety, about our future or frankly like we are just not enough, but there has to be so much more for us.

(01:48):

There is hope, joy, peace, love, fun purpose, and a reason that you, my friend are on this planet. Let's partner with God., so you can be who He created you to be as you wrestle through and trudge through your mess. Hi, I'm Dani Sumner, a recovering alcoholic, a mom, a wife, a mentor and dust. We are only here for a moment. Let's live like it. I'm just like you. I'm a holy mess most days. Actually, every day. Let's have some fun and laugh while trudging through our mess. This stuff doesn't need to be dry and boring. Let's dig in.

(02:24):

Hello, my friends. Oh my gosh. You guys today's the day. I can't believe it. Welcome to episode one of a holy mess podcast. I'm so excited. I'm so pumped and I'm so grateful that you are here to join me on this journey.

(02:40):

And so Woohoo. I'm so pumped. It's funny, so, I have a few other episodes already recorded, but this episode one has just been like, holy moly, just so complicated for me to record. I think I was way overthinking it. I think I wanted to explain my heart and the whole purpose behind this thing and kind of where we're going and the journey and some of the guests we're gonna have on. And I was realizing I'm just trying to get too much in episode one. So I'm just going to super simplify this episode and just share my heart and what's been going on in my life the last week or so, and just jump off and jump in. So I'm super pumped I'm so you guys are here. The whole hope behind this podcast is, how do we walk as gracefully and as joyfully and as purposeful through our life, right?

(03:29):

Life is both holy ground and there are very messy parts of it as well. And I believe, well, I've come to believe in my life that honestly the messy parts of our lives are the holy ground, right? That's where God actually shows up and meets us in really big ways. And so, that's been my experience, especially the last decade when I've been really on this journey of healing and of hope and of recovery. And, in the last two years I've been obsessed with grace and I've been studying it and reading books about it and diving into scriptures. And so it's just my paradigm. My glasses are filtered through grace and the love and the acceptance, and the truth of God and His love and His amazing compassion for us. I've just been obsessed with it.

(04:20):

So you guys, I'm so pumped. I was praying last week. Well, I prayed today too, but when I was praying last week, <laugh> it hit me, this podcast really, I'm kind of paying homage to, to the healing that God has brought me. And I'm paying, respect and honor to just how far Jesus has brought me. I mean, it's a miracle I'm alive, it's a miracle I'm in ministry, it's a miracle, I can live a joy filled hope, filled, fun, purposeful life. And I'm so grateful. And <laugh> that by no means does this mean that I never have rough days or bad days or bad seasons or rough moments. Um, absolutely I do. And I think that's part of the journey, is learning to live with both the good and/ or "bad" of life.

(05:09):

There's things in all of our lives that it's, it's hard to embrace. We're wrestling through these circumstances and these or these emotions we're wrestling through. So how do we live fulfilled lives even in the messy parts of our lives? How do we still have joy and hope and peace? That's what we're after with the podcast. Right. So we're going to talk about just how do we do this? How do we do this life, no matter what the circumstances are and live. Live more peaceful and more joyfilled and, hope filled lives. I wanted to share a little story with you. So I actually just got back from a retreat I was able to serve on over the weekend. It was amazing. A shout out to my Walk To Emmaus family. I love that retreat organization and it's always just such an honor to, first of all, to have any time just away from life to just refocus on Jesus and my heart and, and the women in the community of the Walk To Emmaus that were on the retreat.

(06:08):

And so it's just really such a privilege to share my heart and to give those messages and meet with women. As I was up there this weekend I was really overwhelmed by the reason and why it was originally put on my heart to do this podcast. The 'why' of this podcast and one of the main pillars, one of the main reasons why I want to do this podcast is to let everyone know and to remind everyone during every episode that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Everyone is struggling with something, whether it's a circumstance that they're currently walking through, or something from your history or anxiety about the future. Everone has their "stuff". And so it's just reminded me how much we need each other.

(07:05):

And how much we need to be reminded, we're not alone. We're not the only one struggling and we're going to get through this, and that there's hope to live another day well. There's hope for a future. And that's not some "Christianese", minimizing what you're currently feeling or currently going through in circumstances. But you guys, the reality is we have to take hold of the hope that we have and the, the peace that, that we can access and, and the joy and despite, or even in spite of some really hard situations. Last week, I was talking to a friend she's in her 80' and her husband had passed away about six weeks ago. We were able to have a really long conversation and I was so encouraged because she said, "you know, Dani, when my husband died, I always thought it would just bury me and that I would die shortly thereafter."

(07:58):

And then she said, "But I'm real realizing that it's okay, I'm going to be ok." She's grieving. And she's wrestling through that and walking through that, but she also has peace and she has joy and she has hope.

(08:11):

It's a different season. And so she said, "I cannot believe the peace I'm having right now." The things that we think are going actually bury us and consume us--God wants to meet us there. That's not minimizing anything you could be walking through or feeling, but as we begin to get perspective and take a step back and see the 30,000 foot view of God's hand in our life and how much He adores us and loves us and is for us. And we're reminded of those truths, I think it's just easier to live life that way.

(08:47):

And so last week I, so as I was driving up the mountain to go to this retreat, I wanted to share a little story. I really felt it just spoke my heart and I hope it blesses you and I hope it speaks to your heart. I was driving up the, the mountain and it's about a three hour drive from my house. I take the 166 and then I get off on the 33 and the 33, if you've ever been towards Frazier park from the Central Coast, it's a very windy road. There's no cell coverage and it's about 30 miles of just windiness in the mountains. You rarely see another car. It's kind of a scary road. So I voice texted my hubby "Hey, I'm hitting 33."

(09:29):

You know, because if I don't get to the camp within an hour, "please send somebody to come get me or you come get me" <laugh>. And so anyways, so as I'm about to turn the corner, I'm overwhelmed with a situation in my life. Right. And it's not, it's not super tragic. It's just one of those situations that's consuming me of late and it's just a hard situation to walk through. And I'm feeling pressure, a ton of pressure and all these sorts of areas of my life. And, I was just overwhelmed and I was feeling emotionally drained, physically exhausted and spiritually drained. "oh, great, awesome. So glad I get to go and help lead a retreat <laugh> and help these women." were my thoughts. "Jesus, I need you so bad."

(10:12):

And I actually thought "should I just turn around? And I just call and say, someone has to fill in for me." All those things you're wrestling through in your head when you're, when you're just struggling. And so as I'm about to turn the corner on the 33, I get this overwhelming peace in my heart. And I felt, and it wasn't an audible voice of God, but it was just this, like the presence of God. I felt him say, "there's fire, it's burning all around you, but you will not be burned by this situation. You will not be burned up by this situation." And you guys, I pictured Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the old Testament when they were thrown in the fire. And if you don't know the story, these three guys, they wouldn't worship or bow down to a King, so they were thrown into the fire but they weren't burned.

(11:00):

Right. And so they walked out of there just totally unscathed by, by the circumstances. Right. And which was a literal fire. Okay. Now I'm not obviously in a literal fire, but figuratively, spiritually, emotionally, I'm in really hot season, so to speak. Okay. And I don't know if you can relate, but I'm thinking this might actually like burn me. Like this might actually ruin me, you know, not ruin me, but you know what I'm saying? Like, it's one of those situations. And so as I'm walking through and when I felt that I had just such peace and prayed "thank you that I'm not going to be burned by this." So I turned the corner on the 33 and I kid you not, I've been on this road, I don't even know how many times (many times!) and I see a sign on the right hand side.

(11:42):

And it says "caution, you're about to enter a dangerous fire zone." And I was like, what? It just felt like such a confirmation in my heart. And I'm not trying to look for signs under every rock. But hello. The timing was impeccable. Okay. So I think there's no coincidences. I think Jesus wanted to give me a message. Okay. So I turned that corner and I see that sign and it just confirmed-- I am in a hot season and that's okay. I'm going get through it. Jesus is with me. I've got my community, I've got my people. I've got the word, all that stuff that I can press into as I press through the season. And so I go up a little bit further and about a hundred yards from that sign.

(12:27):

There's another sign. And I knew that it was Bitter Creek, but I never like put it together in my head. So I drove through and around bitter Creek and it's a literal Creek. You can Google it. But anyways, I should have taken a picture. But Bitter Creek was really dry. Again, it spoke to my heart "oh my gosh, bitterness makes us dry." And then it reminded me if I allow myself to get bitter because of a situation or allowing bitterness to like take root in my heart. That is what could cause the flames to burn me because it's going be so dry and flames love dry ground. Proverbs 4 23 came to mind and it says "above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it."

(13:17):

I was just reminded I need to guard my heart in this situation. I need to not choose bitterness. I need to press into what God actually has for me in this situation. I've been studying the book of Ruth and I'm super jazzed. I love the book of Ruth--if you don't know the story, Ruth and Naomi they're widows, and it's a long story, and we'll dive into it in another podcast. But Naomi, she lost her husband. She lost her sons and lost her property, lost her money, everything. So she had to go back home. And when she got home, they were like, "oh my gosh, it's Naomi." And she said basically "don't call me Naomi," which actually means 'pleasant one' in Hebrew.

(13:59):

She said, "call me Mara." And Mara means 'bitter'. It just, it reminded me sometimes our situation or our circumstance, we allow to make us bitter. It's that choice to not allow, to make us bitter and to actually press in, like, how do I get through this situation and how do I find the good nuggets and the lessons through it? That doesn't mean what we're walking through is good. It doesn't mean that at all. "It rains on the, just, and the unjust." And sometimes situations are really awful. But how do we, how do we continually not to choose bitterness so that we don't get burned up by it? And so I'm having this like revelation. I'm driving up the mountain and listening to worship music. And I'm wrecked, I'm crying. I'm so excited now for the retreat. And I'm 30 minutes away. And I I get to the top of the hill, and you can't make this stuff up.

(14:45):

It's Los Padres Forest. Which means the "father" in Spanish. Did you like my little Spanish accent? <laugh> thank you. Spanish class in high school, four years of Spanish. <laugh> actually three years of Spanish One. Woo. Thank you Señor Dean. Anyways, Spanish. that wasn't my cup of tea. Anyways, Los Padres forest. The father's forest!. And it just spoke to my heart. God is with us, the father's heart and his love. And he is for us. And Jeremiah 31: 3 says “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness." Meaning God's loving kindness, drew us to himself. And he continually wants to lavish us with his loving kindness. And yes, that doesn't mean that there's not really hard things, but to be aware and to take a step back and to find perspective that this situation is not going to burn us.

(15:40):

It's not going to set us a blaze. We might feel set a blaze for a bit, but I think as we walk through situations, that we're currently in it, we feel like we're a blaze. Because it's hot. But when we get through it, we realize, oh my gosh, I actually saw the hand of God and his love and his grace and his mercy and his provision for me through that. And it always takes a little bit of time. But the thing I wanted to talk about today is, how do we get through it? What are the tactical ways to get through a burning season? Some of us sometimes when we're in these seasons and it doesn't matter if we're in the season because of decisions we've made or consequences of other people's choices, the reality is when you're in the season, you're in the season.

(16:21):

And I know some of us, we like to punish ourselves when we're in hard seasons, thinking "I must have done something wrong". It's good to take inventory. But at the end of the day, it's not helpful to be punitive or punishing of ourselves, because of situations or whatever we're feeling. And so point number one I wanted to share was guard our hearts. How do we, how do we guard our hearts? So one of the things I wrote down is that when I'm going through situations, I think, "why me? I'm the only this ever happens to." Or "poor me" And in recovery communities, they've got this phrase that can be funny, but so true too--" poor me, pour me, pour me another drink". Meaning, if we sit in self pity for too long or the" why me or the only me or the poor me", we're eventually going to medicate to get through that season.

(17:09):

I don't know about you, but in my recovery with Jesus and in life, I don't want to medicate! And it's okay to feel feelings, no feelings are going trample me forever and I'll get through it. It gives me permission to actually feel things. And to know that these feelings are not going to consume me and forever. That doesn't mean it's fun to feel those feelings but I'm not going to feel like this forever. And to know that I will get through this somehow. One of the other points, is to bring it into community and bring it into the light and share. And even if you can't quite share the details yet, just say, "I'm not ready to talk, but I'm going through something. Can you pray for me?"

(17:52):

You can even ask people to respect your boundaries. "I can't share this, but I just, it's hard season. Can you pray for me?" The more you can share the better at times, but, it's really important that at least somebody knows who is close to you that you're struggling. So they can pray for you, and walk arm and arm with you. They're with you in it. The last point was to keep going. Sometimes we think these seasons or these moments are going to cripple us and it's hard to do the next right thing. It's hard to do what we're actually need to do for the day. But sometimes the best thing we can do is actually do the next right thing.

(18:32):

And my mentor, she says "suit up and show up." It doesn't matter what you're going through. You still show up, you make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the kids. You shower, you go on a walk, show up for work, you cook dinner, you cook yourself something healthy. You have a cup of tea, you pray, turn on worship music. There's always something you can do to get through that moment. I'm not saying don't grieve. If you're going through a really hard time, oh my gosh, by all means you have to grieve. I think when we bottle up our grief or our sadness, or we are in denial about it, or we try to cover it up, that's when we have to deal with feelings of rage and are more short tempered. I'm not saying hide from it or run from it, I'm saying face it.

(19:13):

But then at some point during the process, like you have to continue to walk and do the next right thing in your life. This has really been speaking to me, especially over the weekend and meeting with women over the weekend reminded me, you guys, again, we are all carrying something. Whatever you are walking through right now, I just want you to know that you will get through it. I don't know how you're going to get through it. I don't know what the circumstances are. I don't know what the situation is, but I do know that there is hope for you to live another day and that God does not want you to live crushed in spirit and, and brokenhearted. And for everything that is hurting you or, or breaking your heart right now- He literally has every piece in the Palm of His hands.

(19:57):

And I don't say that in some, you know, cheesy way. I, I really, I mean it because he wants to care for you and tend to you in these moments, especially in the, in the hard, hard moments. I wanted to share that as we jump into this journey, you guys, and just encourage you with what encouraged me this weekend. That vision and that word so blessed me. And so I love you guys. I'm so excited to journey with you.

(20:22):

Can I say a little prayer and we'll jump in next time. Tather, God, I thank you for this day, father. I thank you that, that you've given us your Holy Spirit to live within us, to help us to get through another day. I thank you that you've given us each other and this community and community in general, God, to get through life with.

(20:39):

And so Father, I don't know what my friend is struggling with specifically, but God, I ask you to meet them in that pain. God, I ask you to, to carry them and to let them plant, hope so deep within them. And I was reminded of that scripture 'return to your fortres you prisoners of hope'. And so you guys, we are prisoners of hope. And so Father, God, I just pray for hope, pray for peace. And I pray for joy just to live another day. It doesn't mean they have to figure it all out. It doesn't mean we have to figure it all out God, but you have every detail in the Palm of your hands and the that. Um, and you will see us through it. Thank you that you are near to the brokenhearted. And that means you're near to all of us.

(21:12):

There's places in all of our lives that are, that are hurting. And so just bless them and fill them by the power of your grace in Jesus name. Amen.

(21:19):

God bless you guys. See you next time.

(21:22):

Hello, my friend. If this episode blessed, you made you laugh or triggered you, hey, that's growth. Please do me a favor and share this with a friend. And if you feel led, please leave a written review for the show that really helps us out. Don't forget you are in good company. If you're feeling more broken than you'd like to admit, and you are more loved than you can ever imagine, have a great week. See you next time.