9 Years Sober!

Today I’m 9 years sober…9! And I’ve been sick with bronchitis all week so I have been doing a lot of reflecting (and Netflix binging of course). I had codeine cough syrup—a medication of choice for this recovering addict in the past— and all it did was make me angry. It did help the cough though, wow! But I remember a time when codeine and Vicodin were like common aspirin to me. I once “inherited” 200 Vicodin when someone close to me died, and I thought I’d won the lottery. 

No one decides to become an addict. No one decides to have an issue take over their life. But it happens…more often than we all think or want to believe. 

I believe I was blessed that it was a chemical addiction. Working with and being friends with addicts for years now, I believe the hardest addictions to break are sex and food because they’re a natural part of life (that’s a post for another day). 

However, a chemical addiction can only be rationalized for so long. Then comes awareness—and with awareness for the addict, comes misery. 

No one, and I mean no one, likes to think of themselves as being controlled by a substance. So most of the time after awareness, we jump back in to denial for a bit. 

And that my friend is when misery really kicks in—the madness between awareness and denial. 

You are too sick to stop, but too sick not to. It’s the tipping point for every addict I know. 

Being alcohol and drug free is the biggest gift I have given myself and those around me.  It was hard as hell to get sober. But frankly, living a sober JOYFUL and meaningful life makes it all worth it! I still have hard moments, but who doesn't? 

9 years sober has taught me that everyone struggles, not just me and my addict brain. 

But I am so much happier now! I am so much closer to everyone in my life now. I am so much closer to myself! I love who God has made me to be. Not in a prideful way, trust me! But in an “I can be alone with myself and enjoy the day” kind of way. 

Dani and I have a good time together now—we laugh a lot! I have embraced my quirks and can laugh with myself now.  

God took me on a radical journey of self forgiveness, self awareness and self acceptance I didn't see coming. Addicts hate themselves first, then others. And today I wholeheartedly LOVE my people! And I can honestly say, I am learning to wholeheartedly love Dani too.

If you don’t believe in miracles, believe in my miracles. 

God helped me accept, embrace and love myself, my story, and my life. That my friend is a miracle! And He has miracles for you too! He doesn't reserve them just for recovering addicts, I promise! But He doesn't withhold them from us either. He withholds nothing from His people. 

Don't lose hope. The dysfunctional parts of your life do NOT define you. Do the work. Show up for yourself and let God heal you. Surrender the darkness to Him, so He can light it up. The places you think are too broken to fix are the very places He wants to heal in you! (Reach out if you don’t know where to start.)

He is going to use your brokenness to help restore humanity to Himself. He has plans to use YOU in radical ways to bless someone who needs to hear your story of redemption and grace. No one is too far gone. 

I love you all!! Thanks for being with me on my journey!!

We’re in this together. There’s no place I’d rather be than right here, right now. Reach out if you need prayer, I am here. 

Much love,

*Also, I recently started a texting community! Don’t worry it’s not a giant group text! It’s just a way for me to send text messages easily to my list individually. :) 

Text “Dani” to (833) 457-0062 to JOIN me! I will send you some encouragement and love & you can opt-out at any time. ;) But please don’t, my self-esteem is fragile. haha. ;) 

I pinky promise not to spam you. :)